Hopefully, you have a choice to stay at home or return to work so you don’t have to work if you’re not ready. Having the freedom to decide is a true gift, but it can also lead to a lot of second-guessing….Am I doing the right thing? How long should I stay home? Am I wasting my law degree? And other pesky thoughts.
Let’s talk about what you’re doing RIGHT at home, and what timing might make sense if you want to make a change.
Benefits of being a SAHM with a law degree
No matter what you hear or think, your law education is not a waste, even if you are not using it to earn a paycheck. There are so many ways your training has equipped you to be a terrific mom!
In casual settings, like on the playground or among siblings, you have the skill set to evaluate all sides of an argument, mediate disputes, and mete out proportional consequences. You can teach these skills to your kids, too. You’ll be amazed how they can learn to see other points of view and find appropriate solutions on their own. My youngest is in high school, and is known as the mediator/peacemaker of her friend group.
Your research, courtroom, and negotiation skills can help you advocate for your child effectively, such as by investigating their special educational needs and presenting possible solutions to educators in a logical and well-thought out manner. You can learn the buzzwords and procedures for IEPs and 504 plans. My oldest child’s 504 plan carried over into college, and she’s learned how arm herself with knowledge to advocate for her own accommodations.
You can use your sharp analytical skills to help your kids learn to look beyond attention-grabbing headlines to find out what is really going on in the news, why an article may have a slant, and what motivates an author to present news the way they have. Teaching your kids to be wary of scams, gossip, and fiery rhetoric is a lifelong skill that will serve them well for years to come. It also makes interesting dinner conversation!
Your legal skills are also highly applicable in the context of school organizations. From parent-teacher groups to booster clubs to sports and beyond, you have insight and abilities that can help in many ways. You can review bylaws and make suggestions for editing them. You can run efficient meetings using Robert’s Rules. You can identify liability issues that might require additional planning. You can research and explain issues to help other parents gain a better understanding, such as what specific state or local rules say and what is the policy behind them. You can identify the chain of command for elevating concerns to the proper level of authority.
All of this is to say you have plenty to offer as a SAHM, and going back to work is not the only way you can use your education. If you want to earn a paycheck, that’s great, but “wasting your law degree” should not be the reason!
When should you go back to work?
Timing is a personal decision that only you can make, but there are many options to consider.
One idea is to align your transition with one your child is experiencing, such as the start of preschool, kindergarten, grade school, high school, or college. I went back to work when my youngest started preschool. I felt she was ready to socialize, and I was ready to be around more adults! I’ve worked part-time since then, but I can see where I might want to crank up my hours when she leaves for college.
Some transitions for your child might not be based on age or school so much as what is going on for them medically or emotionally. I had an involuntary break in jobs when my oldest was 9, but I came to understand it was an absolute blessing. She was really struggling at school on many levels due to ADHD. Being home with her enabled me to devote my energy to finding what methods helped her most. Once we figured out what worked best for her, which happened to be medication, she was soaring again and needed less daily intervention on my part. Amazingly, I landed a new part-time job within a week.
Another point in time might be when you feel your child is developmentally able to handle the changes that may come with your return to work. For example, if you need to rely on before-school or after-school care, you might want to wait until your child is old enough to handle an extended day and understand why it’s necessary. I didn’t love being the last kid picked up at daycare, but I understood it was necessary because my mom was single and worked very hard for us.
Your return might not be based on your children so much as your own timing and availability. If you get a unicorn job offer mid-school year and you can line up childcare, go for it!
Finally, there doesn’t have to be a bright line date to return to your career. If you are itching to go back, try to make it work. I admire my SAHM friends, but I am not cut from the same cloth. I truly felt more like myself when I returned to the office.
How do you see your future flex?
If you’ve been staying at home with your kids and working for pay is in your future, have you identified when might be a good time to transition? Will you go back full-time or will you try to find a flexible arrangement? And how many fabulous ways have you been using your law degree at home? Feel free to share!
FlexWork for Attorney Moms 
I identify so much with your experience. I went part time when my kids were born. That dried up during covid and my oldest also started kindergarten. He struggled so badly, there was no way I could go back. He was diagnosed with ADHD and later dysgraphia, and medication has helped so much. I don’t feel like he’s found the very best one yet, but it’s a lot better than it was. My youngest is in PreK this year. I wasn’t ready to work again until at least the youngest was in kindergarten and the oldest didn’t need so much direction just for basic tasks or supervision to keep him safe due to impulsivity. I have absolutely used all of those skills you mentioned at home, along with the research, research, research. I thought I had found a unicorn job like you mentioned, so I started back part time. But I think it’s turning out to be nothing like it was advertised. I think the timing was wrong, the job was wrong, everything. I regret it so badly but I don’t want a short run to hurt my resume more than the big gap I had previously. The firm rarely bills and I haven’t been paid yet after 9 weeks of work. In the meantime, I’ve been wracking up costs for a cleaning service, more meals out, back support for my chair, and extra childcare. I’ve lost fall break with my kids, can’t go on field trips or volunteer now that it’s allowed again after covid, and I’m tired and short tempered. I don’t have energy to advocate for myself. Don’t be like me! Make sure you think it through carefully and don’t let people pressure you to go back.
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Thanks for sharing your experience. Sounds like you’re in a tough spot right now. I’m sorry you’re going through that. If it helps, don’t feel obligated to list the current job on your resume. You’ve been there such a short time and it’s not a fit, so you don’t have to tout it. Strength to you!
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