When should you depart from full-time?

The decision to step away from a traditional, full-time career path is personal and involves much thought and planning. It’s hard to know when to take a leap, but there are steps you can take to see if a departure is what you need and if you’re ready.

The tipping point

How do you know when to make a change from full-time law practice?

I felt ready to step back when I was fully prepared to accept the consequences if the firm turned down my request for part-time. I needed a change so badly that I was prepared to quit if they said no. Fortunately, they said yes, so I was able to stay at the same firm.

Prior to that time, each day was an internal battle from the moment I woke up to the moment I went to bed. It wasn’t all mom guilt. My body reacted badly to the stress of trying to “do it all.” I kept at it for several months to see if it was a passing phase, but it got worse instead of better. I came to the realization that if I couldn’t make a change, I was willing to leave. It’s not that I wanted to be a stay-at-home-mom at that point, I simply couldn’t keep going in the same direction. Something had to give before I had a mental breakdown. For real.

You may not need to get to the same point of desperation to make a change. In fact, the change you need may not even be the job at all. There are certainly attorney moms whose turning point was accepting that they couldn’t do everything in life to the level they expected. Learning to let go of unreasonable expectations helped them come to peace with working full-time. There are definite rewards to sticking with it (seniority, partnership, etc.).

But if you think a job change may be your next step, there are things you can do to help you decide.

Try being a SAHM

If you’re not sure what type of change you want, consider a trial run. For example, you could schedule an extended vacation from work where you don’t travel, or you could request a sabbatical. Give yourself some free time to catch up at home. Do you just need a chance to breathe and refresh yourself so you can go back to your full-time schedule? Or is it a real change that’s best? Will you even like being at home so much?   

After my second child was born, I determined to stay at home for a while. I wasn’t sure it would be a permanent status change, but after living through the challenges of working full-time with my first-born, there were certain goals I made for myself. First, I wanted to be able to breastfeed without my milk supply drying up from stress. The first time around, I couldn’t produce the needed quantity by pumping, and stress caused my milk supply to dry up by 8 months. Second, I didn’t want my work product to suffer from sleep deprivation the way it had previously. That was not pretty! Third, I wanted to see if I liked being a SAHM.

In the end, I achieved all my goals. I was able to nurse my second baby all the way to 13 months. (I did not miss making bottles all the time, let me tell ya!) Also, I didn’t subject any clients to sub-par work while I was getting insufficient sleep. My second daughter was harder to get on a regular sleep schedule, so that would have been extra challenging. Finally, being at home so much helped me decide I needed to GO BACK TO WORK! I absolutely loved being present for my sweet baby, but I eventually reached a point where I felt she could benefit from preschool education and socialization. Also, I could no longer suppress my inner career woman, who became envious of every single working person I encountered!          

Try an alternate working arrangement

Another way to test the waters is to experiment with other work arrangements on a temporary basis, say a month or two. For example, during that time, you could try working remotely from home more often, or try eliminating a day of the workweek by getting your billables in fewer days.

See what it’s like without a daily commute. Is working remotely a real possibility? Can you really get work done if the kids are at home with you?

Find out what it’s like to have an extra weekday at home. How would you use the time? Is it worth a cut in pay?

I’m not one who likes to work from home. Don’t get me wrong, I’m super grateful for the opportunity when I have a sick kid or there are appointments and meetings I need to work around. But as a daily routine, it does not work for me. I prefer to physically separate myself from the housework that stares me down, not to mention the needs of my high-maintenance dog. It’s embarrassing to try to have a serious phone call when the dog barks thanks to an Amazon delivery or a nearby lawnmower. I have been known to take calls in my car in the garage to avoid that!

On the other hand, I find it highly valuable to have extra time at home. For our family, it’s worth a cut in my pay to increase the time I have at home and to reduce the stress I feel.

Remember that whatever arrangement you need now does not have to be permanent. Currently, I work five reduced-hour days so I can juggle all the afternoon activities of my teenagers. When the kids were little, I really enjoyed working more hours three to four days a week and having long weekends with them, including visiting family out of town. Your job can change with life’s seasons.

Talk to other attorney moms

Even if you can’t test the waters before you dive in, be sure to talk to friends. Social media contacts can be a great resource, too, such as Facebook groups called MothersEsquire or LawMamas. Other attorney moms can give you feedback about options in your area of practice and help you find out what it’s really like to work flexibly. No one is going to have the exact situation you do, but it’s helpful to find out the benefits they experience, the sacrifices they make, and what makes it worthwhile for them.     

Are you ready to flex?

What steps are you taking to find out if you’re ready to make a change? Feel free to reach out if you need support!

Site map